Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Losing My Best Friend

          Tonight I came into my computer room to see my dog searching around the computer chair.  I realized that she was confusing the voice of a person on a video that was playing with mine.  She couldn't see well enough to tell if I was at the desk or not.  Before I say anymore let me tell you that this "animal" has been more of a friend to me than any human ever cared to be.  I don't even know how to express how much I love this dog.  For the first 5 years we were never apart.  She went everywhere with me.  She even went to stores with me and waited out front till I was done shopping.  She would patiently sit and look through the glass of the door, walking to one side when a person would leave.  People were amazed at her behavior.  Kids would call to her.  Some even tried to coax her away with treats, but she would sit at that door all day if she had to.  Nothing would deter her until I came out, then she would spin in exuberance at my return.
          I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling right now.  I've had what most would call an extremely tuff life, but nothing has ever made me feel like this.  I've never had a person in my life that loved me.  Sure there have been people that said they loved me, but their actions were contrary to their words.  Daisy, my dog, never said a single word to me, but in her silence she loved me more than my own mother could.
         I know she is just a dog, but I can't help but feel I am losing a piece of myself.  I don't want to go in to too much detail and divulge anymore of my personal life than I have to, but this animal was my only friend through a very dark period in my life.  One in which my own family had banished me from their lives.  All the while my dog remained happy to see me each and every time I showed up.  Now it's many years later and I've cleaned up my act, but only to lose the one "person" who never wavered in their love for me.
         I keep telling myself that death is one of the most important parts of life, that without death life would be less valuable.  After all the finite time we have on this planet is what makes each and every moment so precious.  Even though we rarely see that until times like these.  I heard a quote once that God put dogs on earth to set a good example for us people.
         I'm rambling.  No one will ever read this, but like I said, this dog is my only friend in this world, so who else would I tell?

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